It's Today!!!

Okay so this is gonna be as short as the other ones but I'm here to give you hope (Not that anybody is actually following this) but anyways. Today. At about 6. I will be updating even more.

Well Then.

Well. I'm in engineering. Again. Still waiting for Thursday to come. My friends in the hospital with stomach issues and stuff, but she's good. Not gunna die any time soon. Unless I stab her for thanking me. But that's a whole game changer. On the 29th, it will be one year since my cousin died in a car accident. Miss you, Chey.

Okay Go

Well. Just sitting here in engineering. Thought I'd blog. Again. Well...That's all. Until Thursday <3

Dear Chris

Dear Chris,
I dunno if you remember me. In first grade we were best friends. In second grade..well you were held back. I didn't see you the whole day but we had Kid's Safari together after school and we always played with the legos. We slowly grew apart but one day, when I was in fourth grade, I decided "To hell with it" and I decided to be your friend. When you died, I was in shock. I didn't fully process it till the day of your funeral and I decided not to go. It...shook me. If you died so young, that meant that I could die young too. And that's when I started obsessing over death. Like, not..I wanted to kill myself or oyher people. I just was scared that everybody was going to die. And...I admit. I became weird. Not the good kind either. But then I talked to your cousin Crystal (Aunt Crystal to me) and I met Allan Robert Stone. The cutest kid ever. And I felt better. Like, not just in my body but in my heart too.

Enough about me. How are you? Are you doing okay? Are you at peace or whatever? I really miss  you. Like, if you were here, you'd be a freshman. and...It's not so bad. Maybe we'd be closer. I kind of viewed you as a brother figure, even though I have my own. I guess...I don't know. Let's start over. Cos I'm a whole new person now. Hi, my name is Emily.

Ronan

If you didn't know, Ronan Thompson was a beautiful boy who died of cancer on May 9, 2011, three days before he was to turn 4. the story I found out about him was really weird, but I won't go into detail. Anyways. This kid changed my life. When I was younger, I was really...I don't know...I just didn't really think cancer was a problem. Yeah, it sucked. But I truly didn't understand how it affected other people's lives until I watched my grandmothers die from cancer, one by one. And then my great aunt, and a few cousins. I watched kids I had grown up with battle cancer and that really changes a person. There was this kid (I will never forget him) who was in my grade. Christopher Allen Brown. He was a really good friend of mine. His cousin is my mom's best friend and I call her aunt so...anyways. When we were ten years old, he had a seizure in a pool and drowned. We had talked about having awesome teachers together and moving on to middle school and eventually highschool. I made it, but without my friend. When my mom gave me the news two weeks before I started the fifth grade, I couldn't believe it. No, I REALLY couldn't believe it. I thought she was kidding. I refused to believe her outright. When I got to school the monday school started and he wasn't there, I shut down. Not in the traditional sense. But when middle school hit, I stopped caring completely. Nobody saw it coming, not even me. There were other reasons as to why I was depressed, but that was the tip of the iceberg. I cut everybody off and started blowing them off for sleep. I'm better now, but kids like Chris and Ronan and Johnathan (a little boy who died of cancer) have changed my life forever. Starting soon (hopefully) I will be volunteering at the local hospital and the animal shelter AND my dad's friend's stable. Thank you Chris, and Ronan, and Johnathan. You have made me a better person.